Wedding

(written December 16) Pictures of the wedding click this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peacecorps20a/sets/72157603567373408/
So its Sunday here and I'm just waiting for the truck full of people from my village to come pick me up at the Peace Corps office and head back to Pele. Its been a really good week of wedding celebration here in Vila. As I blogged about before I came to town for my brother Noel's wedding. I arrived on Monday after waiting at the wharf at Emua for about 6 hours for the transport to pick us, close to half my village and me, up. It worked out alright though because I went into Emua and visited my family and some friends in the training village. During this waiting period I was also the go-to guy as I was the only one there holding a cell phone and therefore the communication link between my Papa and my brother in town trying to figure out transportation woes. Went through a little money on that one but I rejected my Papa's offer to pay for phone credit as I was sure they would be feeding me all week. We eventually caught a ride and loaded people, pig, mats, hordes of bananas, cassava, and various food and gift items onto the truck. We arrived in Vila and proceeded a little ways out of town to Erakor where a family member had a house on about an acre of land, suitable to the week worth of preparation and celebration.
On Monday night my brother, his fiancee, me, and the other witness (groomsman), Charly were to go talk to the pastor briefly to get the scoop on what the ceremony would be like and what our roles were. It was already 7pm at this point, we were ready for a shell, and were tired from the days events. The five of us show up to meet the pastor in the church and he gives us all a two-page handout with various Bible quotations on it. He then goes through the first section with great long winded detail and when he finishes the section a half an hour later I look down at the paper only to realize there is still a page and three quarters left. Shit we're never going to get out of here! So he proceeds to talk about Genesis readings, man's superiority over women, how you should marry before having kids (knowing full well that Noel and Jenny have a little girl), how a woman should not work after being married (knowing full well that Jenny has a great job and it would be stupid for her to give it up), and other topics. Then he moves into how nature and animals are for man's use only. Then he moves to talk about creation: Bislama translated, "There some people that claim science for this issue that we came from animals. (baffled look) I don't know what they think, that we came from monkeys or a moose or something like that (more baffled look)." Moose?! Where the hell do you get moose from? I had to really restrain myself from not laughing out loud when he said "moose." I mean I see the connection: we both have antlers and forage on grass-like things, but it seems an odd choice for a guy that hails from the South Pacific. Besides the moose phenomenon I was struggling not to fall asleep, and I knew this wasn't an option like normal church service where you can just slip in the back and zone out. I looked over at Noel and Jenny who both had there heads down and was comforted in that I wasn't the only one with waning attention here. In fact when later talking to Noel I found out that he didn't just have his head down. He fell asleep! How about that? Five people there for this session and Noel nods off. Classic.
So the pastor finally wraps up the service and asks if either of the to-be-wed have any questions. Noel says "no" but Jenny, looking a little confused asks, "I thought we came here tonight to find out our vows and rehearsal stuff." The pastor replies, "No. Your witness (bride's maid) didn't come so we can't fill out the paperwork and we'll have to meet again to do that." Holy Shit! Well I'm glad we accomplished nothing here tonight. Later Noel asked me what I thought of the service. I said, "It was good, but..." Before I could finish Noel said "He talks a little too much, huh?" Me, "A little (Damn right too much!)." Later in the night I was sitting in on some of the older guys and my Papa talking about plans for the wedding and one of them had suggested that they account for a long ceremony because the pastor tends to talk a lot. I let out a laugh which prompted Noel to point at me, calling me out, and we both had a good laugh.
During the first couple days I was able to get some work done at the PC office during the day and then rejoined the marriage party at night. The first couple days were mostly organizing things and starting to butcher pigs and cows. During the evenings we just sat around and drank kava. On Wednesday much more people showed up and the marriage atmosphere was in full effect. I was going to take a break on kava that day as the first couple of days were petty heavy, but as I was finishing some work in the PC office in the early evening the phone rang. It was a volunteer at a nearby nakamal saying the nakamal was holding a Christmas party and giving away free kava. So I took a two shell spell and observed how quiet a party can be if its held at a nakamal. Its amazing how many people can be gathered yet the tone is virtually silent. That night there were plans for the wedding party to dance until the morning. I on the other hand was pretty tired and opted to go to sleep early (around midnight). The sleeping arrangements for weddings usually consists of covered areas or rooms with Pandanas leaf mats laid out across the floor. You just choose a spot, lay down, and sleep. The first two nights there weren't many people at the wedding yet so there was a lot of room to sleep. On Tuesday night my eldest brother Rex, rolled up in a mat like a pig-in-a-blanket, was startled by a huge crab crawling on him. Rex, having heard the story of a mama encountering a nasty centipede the night before and thinking this was what was on him, freaked out only to be told to basically shut the hell up by some teenagers in the room! I was only a few feet away but slept through the whole thing as I tend to do. Once when I was in high school, I slept through an incident where my brother had a horrible nightmare, and in a sleepwalk terror-trance starting throwing large pieces of furniture (desk, bookshelf, chairs) at the wall. Everyone else in my family woke up instantly, and once the situation calmed they wondered where I was. Hibernating as usual.
On Wednesday night the wedding party tripled in size and because I went to sleep early there was a lot of room in the area I chose to sleep in. When I awoke on Thursday morning I found myself blocked in by at least 30 bodies in the room with not a single piece of open floor showing. I went back to sleep and was awoken by a small boy (about4) bumping into my head. He had rolled off his spot and collided heads with me on my pillow. He was still asleep and I attempted to roll him back to his spot but he woke up mid-roll and started wailing which then woke up his mom and she carried him out of the room. I felt bad for waking the two of them up and I was now fully awake so I decided to start my day. I then proceeded to go to the next room to grab my toothbrush as I hadn't brushed my teeth the night before and had a nasty taste in my mouth. Here too the place was locked in with bodies and I started my obstacle course through the sleeping children to grab my backpack. Some close calls, almost stepping on a couple of them but I made it through the sleeping children unscathed.
Thursday morning we (the witnesses, bride, groom , and pastor) sat down to go over the vow and role stuff. It was all very vague and the only thing I gained from it was that I was to hold the rings and stand up when they called the witnesses. When I had asked more than two questions I felt that I was already asking too much. Its hard sometimes when its a meaningful ceremony for us non-ni-Vanuatu to understand the "don't worry, you'll figure it out" approach. The pastor had asked Noel if they'd decided on a time for the ceremony? "Yes, 8 o'clock am." The pastor replied with bugged out eyes, "Wow, don't you think that's a little early?!" He knew as I think we all did there was no way in hell that the ceremony was going to start at 8. Island time! But that was the time they decided on and so it was to be.
On Thursday afternoon we headed to the Vanuatu Chief's nakamal for the payment of the bride ceremony. Here people from my family had set up stacks of mats, some kava, root crops (taro, yam, mantioc), and a huge pig to give to the bride's family from Emae. Some speeches were given from the groom's side and then a representative from the bride's family inspected the bounty by circling it. Then he beat the loot with a branch and proceeded to go agro throwing things about as per kastom blong Man-Emae. When he finished he gave a speech accepting the goods and then a bunch of Man-Emae carried off the goods while chanting loudly in their local language. It was all very cool and the best bride price acceptance I'd seen yet. I was kind of sorry I didn't get video of it on the camera.
Friday - Wedding Day:
I awoke early sleeping at Noel's house this time as it is right across the street from the church. At around 7:30 I was showered and just waiting for the other witness and Noel to get back from grabbing the bow ties across town. We were to wear black suits with a bow tie, kind of a close-to-tux thing. I hadn't dressed yet as I was sure they'd be late and it was hot as hell. It was around 8:30 when one of the first relatives arrived. She having lived in Vila and holding a good job, was fairly punctual and asked us what the hell we were doing? Me and one of my cousins were watching "The Terminator" (part of a 14-in-one DVD all-Arnold Chinese rip-off I picked up, pretty damn cool actually) and weren't dressed yet. I explained from my relaxed position on the floor in a wife-beater and shorts the situation at hand. At around 9:30 Noel and Charly arrived and we got dressed for the show. No bow ties, just some nasty looking neckties that they had procured. Noel said he was going to take the solid black one (the only nice one) and Charly and I could choose between the loud turquoise paisley tie, the 70s solid brown tie, or the 50s slim brown and black tie. I wasted no time to swoop the all-brown tie as it was the lesser of three evils. Noel changed his mind and wanted the turquoise one (the worst looking one in my mind). Then I tied the ties for everyone because nobody else knew how. When Charly handed me the black tie I realized something "Charly, this is a little kid's tie." He used the 50s tie and we were well on our way. I scored my coat and pants from Rex who is a bit taller than me but has about 60 lbs on me. With a belt I got by and even so I was looking pretty good for a Vanuatu wedding. I've seen some pretty funny shit when it comes to grooms and their witnesses in Vanuatu: suits that never fit (way too big or small), crazy 80s style ruffled pink shirts, you name it!
At around 10:30 the bride arrived and the ceremony started. It was pretty Western with some small differences. I got up when I was supposed to and held out the pillow for the rings. It was about a two hour ceremony and I was sweating bullets in the suit as a thunderstorm roared outside. A few times thunder roared in at perfect Godly cues. I was impressed by that. After the ceremony all the people in the wedding shook hands with the guests and it was great to see the people from my village and family's faces and expressions when I shook hands with them. Everyone was all grins and prideful. I felt like my acceptance into their life really went up a little right there.
After the shaking of the hands there was a very short reception in the next building where we chowed on some cake and punch. Afterward we headed out to the car train (well decorated with balloons and ribbons). They had me sit shotgun in the lead car with Noel, Jenny, and their daughter Larisa in the back. The ~12 car train was the longest I'd see in Vila yet (usually around 3 or 4) and we honked our way through town for about a half hour and I continued to boil in my suit. When we would pass on-lookers they would wave and on some of their faces I would then see a look of surprise like "Hey, there's a white dude in the front of that car." It was pretty cool and I was able to put my heat misery aside for the enjoyment of the event. We dropped Jenny and Larisa off at the place where the bride's side had been rallying for the week and drove back to Erakor. There we switched out of the suits (Thank God!), put on matching island shirts, and guzzled some Tusker beer. My brother didn't bring my homebrew to the party because I suspect he didn't want to share it. He and a couple of the guys tried a few of the beers two days before and were pretty stoked on them. I'd have to say too for my first batch (a bitter) its pretty damn good. I've got some stout that will be ready in about a week. At about 1pm we had the ceremony where the bride's family comes and puts the woman in her new home and gives mats to villagers of the man for looking out for the woman in the future. I, myself, was given a mat as well. The closing of this ceremony is sad as the family and villagers of the bride weep profusely while they say goodbye to the bride. Following the ceremony the bride's side departed and we drank and ate until about 6pm when we left for the reception.
The reception was held at the Chief's Nakamal which is where the paramount chiefs in Vanuatu meet twice a year. Pretty flashy for Vanuatu and was invite-only (also not common for weddings). I was surprised how cheap it was to rent out the place. Its the size of a warehouse and with security its only about $130 (its not rude to ask such things in Vanuatu). This too started a few hours late and I bought my papa and his friends beer at the nearby nalamal while we were waiting for the festivities to start. Once the party started the 150 or so guests were treated to great food, and spiked fruit punch. Everybody including myself danced to string band music until about midnight or 1 and had a great time. We then loaded into buses and headed back to Erakor. On the way back Noel and friends, drunk as hell, sang church songs in local language like we might sing drunken pop songs. When we got back to the fort I was beat from a full day's worth of stuff and decided to crash. Most of the gang on the other hand partied until the sun came up. I awoke in the morning needing a shower, and starting to search for a way to get back to my brother's house where my stuff was. Plenty of the guys were still drunk and tried to get me to drink nasty vodka at 8 in the morning. My counterpoint grabbed me, bear hugged me, and gave me the "I love you man" speech. He tried to guilt trip me about not drinking the vodka and I explained to him how I needed to check on a grant's funding going through that day and if I'm plastered that's not possible and that's no good for the MPA. He was undeterred. A minute later he was off in the corner puking his guts out. A few minutes later I saw one of my brothers, Henry, drunk as well, and inquired as to how half of his body was covered in blood and mud. "Oh (casually), I passed out and slept in the muddy area where they've been slaughtering the pigs and cows all week." People mingled around and continued to drink and that was about the end of the ceremony.
Other news...
Dom and I survived a visit from the previous volunteer a week ago. Lot of stuff here but not good to go into in a public forum but a grant that Dom and I opposed was pushed through the committee and we made an agreement with the previous volunteer for him to stop meddling with the project. We took a strong stance and didn't hold back on our dismay of his actions so the future....don't know. We shall see.
I gave the first toktok on the Universe Blong Yumi and it went really well. About 40 people attended the Stars and Planets lecture and said they liked the material. I also used a planets and stars DVD I scored off the previous volunteer to back-up some of things I was teaching. The only thing was there were a couple guys, who had gone on to higher levels of school, that looked bored. I apologized for the dumbed down presentation to the two guys afterward, but explained why. They said they liked the toktok, learned a few new things, and suggested using them to help teach in the next lectures. "Great! Let's do it."
That's about it guys. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and be safe!